I wanna do something with my life, like watch more movies.
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent
had the opportunity and fucking seized it
libra, love those who always loved you.
scorpio, you hold brilliance.
sagittarius, pick up the phone.
capricorn, kiss the cities you dreamt of.
aquarius, self-care is not frivolous.
pisces, pay attention to the vibes you bring.
aries, appreciate every wrong turn.
taurus, be spectacular.
gemini, your work is crucial.
cancer, stay this humble.
leo, take the blame if it is yours.
virgo, you are a goddess.
my mom and dad were arguing in front of me whether to give me a present now or to wait til christmas and my mom was like “can we give her it now?” and my dad was like “what present” and my mom was like “you know… the good one” and my dad was like “spell it” and my mom goes “GREG, SHE’S 23”
Your anaconda doesn’t even go here.
reason to not become an adult
- you can’t use the ‘my mum said i can’t go’ excuse to blow someone off
my mom has invited me over for dinner
my mom needs help with furniture
my mom just got a new phone and needs my help
my mom spoke to me from the grave and told me u need to stop inviting me out
I spend so much time alone that if I was ever falsely accused for a crime I would never have an alibi